So, again, here I am back at my blog and no more further into the business than when I left… in fact, I am no longer a consultant. Wish I could say I regret not renewing and not getting more involved in preserving memories – both mine and others, but I don’t. Not really.
I did make a sacrifice when I entered the realm of being a system engineer…. aka became a “server chick.” Servers – maintain and patch at night, when the business is not using them. I knew long days and nights and work afterhours were part of the job description and, in the persuit of expanding my career opportunity, and I figured it was worth it. That is, until we had the unexpected chance to have my stepson live with us.
Situations arose with his biological mother and in the beginning of February… in the middle of everything (his 3rd grade school year, my hubby’s college semester, and my security audit at work) we had him move in with us. My hubby goes to school full time and works full time on swing shift. (I’m usually asleep when he gets home or up late working on servers). I work full time and afterhours as explained previously and… I’m a full time “single” mommy in the evenings. Not an issue before but with my stepson living with us, it’s been overtime mommy, too. You see, my stepson has ADHD.
I wish I can say it were that simple that he has a short attention span or is hyperactive. He also has OCD tendencies and is aggressive. I remember one summer when he was with us and 6yrs old, prior to pills, every night he had a yelling fit. He was absolutely angry at the world and said as much. I did not need my 4yr old (at the time, she is 6 now), learning phrases like “I want to kill…! or “I hate…!” Also, back then, being that we only had him three weeks at the most and a week around major holidays. Anything we tried to help him was fruitless, only to be forgotten by the time he came back. Much to our dismay, he was put on 2 different pills.
Fast forward to the present. He moved in with us. As soon as my hubby was able to add him to his medical insurance, we made appointments with doctors to re-evaluate his need for his pills. Not only are the side effects scary, but we wanted to spend the time and dedication to try behavioral plans and other means of trying to address his ADHD… if that’s what it is. Under guidance of his new pyschiatrist, we took him off his daytime pill and for a while he did good. Talks and rewards vs. consequences – methods of parenting that has worked on our daughter all seemed to be working for him too. Then it happened. Yelling, crying, screaming, disrupting, licking attempts, nose picking, outbursts and finally utter disregard towards his teachers and my father. That is when realization hit. He’s broken…. and pills may just be the only fix.
I ALMOST gave up. I ALMOST took that as the final say so. But, no, we haven’t given up. Things don’t change overnight and neither was he. The good news is that we HAVE made some strides. We have totally taken him off of his night time pills and he gets Chamomile tea to calm him down so he can sleep. We have not yet found an alternative to the Concerta but we are trying along with some daily reminders, encouragement, schedule and structure to get him to focus. Every day. EVERY DAY.
So, anyway, back to my “jobs.” One could say that I’m a little busy. Full-time mommy *still* adjusting to a new position and adjusting to a new family member who requires a little more care than the norm. Did I mention that the company that I work for may not be in business next year and that I may need to find a new job? All this on the back of what may have been our most crucial audit – ever?? Nah, no pressure. No pressure at all. HM, at this point, became a luxury for me. A year. I’ll give it a year. In a year, we might have gotten the intricacies of ADHD down. In a year, I may not have a job and I’ll have more time for HM. Or, in a year, his mother might actually be true to her word and realize she needs to give up her “luxuries” and not her family.
For now, my priorites are: Living MY family memories and the job that supports my family. Just two priorities. But the only two that matters.
For my clients, sorry to have to lose you but Leslie is uber cool and if you have any questions or guidance that you need with Heritage Makers, she will be happy to assist you. If any of you just wanna do a digi-crop, or just wanna hang out and be creative, I’m still here…. just with extra loud and rambuctious kids running amok in the background